Not that I was 100% into in the first place. I was just dabbling. But I once again need an outlet of craziness somewhere and here it is.
We’re moving to Germany.
Fucking fuck fuck fuck.. I’m terrified.
The movers come on the 17th Feb. Deliver our things to the new house on the 20th. P and I travel over on the 25th.
Now Germany has been on the cards for a good 7 months and like most things in my husbands job, nothing came of it. So around about P’s 1st birthday (went amazing btw) – December time, I was beginning to think nah.. never going to happen. Wrong.
A came home on my birthday to the news that his assignment order has finally come through and as of the 9th January he was going to be stationed at Gutersloh.
Que alarm bells. Internal crippling anxiety. And the fake smile spread across my face. I was excited, happy but absolutely petrified at the same time. I still am.
You see A is already out there.. has been for nearly month. He’s settled. And as silly as it sounds.. I’ve managed to settle here. I complain a lot about my job – but it works around P. I haven’t missed anything. She goes to bed as I’m going to work and she’s waking up just as I’m getting home. Perfect.
Really I shouldn’t be dwelling on this. It’s about being a family. And like A keeps reminding me recently – ‘I knew what I was getting into when I married him’
We are a family. We’re staying a family. And if that means I have to do some odd shitty jobs for the next 3 years then so be it. I can take the back burner. My dreams and aspirations and my potential career and moving up the ladder can wait another 3 years… can’t they?